For A Better Tomorrow

Man, this is going to be a long journey trying to deal with my brother’s bad habits.  I don’t know how many times I’ve embedded into his head that he needs to play Tight Aggressive and not loose.  A few days ago, I checked his stats.  Out of 2k hands, he had a VPip of ~24%, which is a really high percentage given the type of hands I’m telling him to play.  In fact, my overall vpip right now is about 14.5 - 15% in NL200.  When I was playing NL100, I had a very TAG vpip of 12.5%.  Now do you see the problem?  My brother puts in money into the pot almost double the amount of my play.  Now, I ignored it at first because 2k hands is not a good enough sample size for determination.  However, I went to check his stats today, and out of 5k hands he has a VPip of 28%!

My brother is increasing in vpip!  I was expecting him to decreased based on how I showed him to play.  So what does this mean?  It means he’s playing loose, perhaps extremely loose.  Instead of checking his hand history, I just asked him straight up to see if he was playing loose.  He tells me he did play loose on a few tables because of his “tight image”.  Unbelievable, talk about no discipline! 

Let me explain the upswing he’s experiencing currently that I’m worried about.  Out of 5,000 hands my brother is currently having a winrate of about 17.5ptbb/100 hands, which is totally a huge upswing.  I was wondering why he was experiencing such a straight upward swing, since he was supposedly playing TAG.  But no he’s been playing loose and seeing the cards fall on his side.  Fine, good for him that he’s making that kind of money, but I do not want him to suffer an incredible downward swing one that he cannot handle mentally, which will be the case if he continues on playing the way he’s playing.  In fact, I’m guessing that he’s on a pace in which there is an inevitable downswing that will happen - ones that have ended people’s poker playing careers. 

7.5ptbb/100 is like the highest winrate that I have ever read about from other known “AMAZING PLAYERS”.  So unless my brother is insanely genius and has tremendous reading skills better than probably 97% of the internet players out there, he is getting lucky.  I don’t want that to get to his head, and I am trying to push him to understand that. 

Lets give my brother the benefit of the doubt that he will get an overall winrate of 5ptbb/100 in the long run.  And lets say the long run will be 15k hands, so he only needs 10k more hands to see the long run.  Now, he’s been playing for over a week now and only has 5k hands.  Imagine him playing 10k more hands and STILL remain exactly where he’s at in terms of money.  He’s currently up about $1800, so imagine 3 weeks from now, he’s still only up $1800.  Get my drift?  It means that a disaster is about to happen.  I warned him, and I will continue to warn him.  I just hope he listens and not let the money get to his head. 

After the party tonight, a friend of mine, whom I haven’t hung out with in years, asked me to hit up a casino for some gambling action.   I agreed and told him that I am willing to drop $400 on any game he wishes to play.  The game he choose to play, I was not familiar with but I told him to take it down for me.  So he played and I just watched. 

Hawaiian Gardens is such an evil place in my opinion.  It welcomes Vietnamese people so well.  Outside of the casino, there is a little shrine for people who believe in Buddhism to light an incent for good luck (I think).  My friend did it before entering the casino and I thought that was quite interesting. 

It was about 3:30 am when we were in the casino and my friend immediately ran into a guy who asked him to borrow some money.  THis pissed my friend off because we just entered the casino.  In Vietnamese tradition, it is very rude to ask someone for a loan just as they are about to gamble as it gives them bad luck.  What this guy did was horribly rude.  Obviously, I don’t believe in that superstition because I am a poker player, but sometimes I like to think about it for fun.  My friend however, took that very serious and was hesitiant to continue with our need for “thrill” after that but we said “fuck it”.  Together, we had $800 and we wanted to do a nice hit and run.  I’m just there for the sheer thrill of course. 

I was also very curious about something too.  It was 330 am and there was still a load of people playing.  At HG, there are obviously a lot of Vietnamese compulsive gamblers there.  I wanted to observe them a bit while we were at the tables.  I really want to know what is going on in their heads.  What are their motives?  Most of these people are there 24 hours a day, 7 days a week trying to make a quick hit and “come back”.  lol. 

My friend unfortunately, has a gambling problem and as much as I want to help him with that, there is obviously nothing I can do.  But I feel it’s sometimes good to know when and how to have fun.  And that was my main reason there tonight.  I told myself that I am going to take a poker break for the next 5 days until I finished all my essays and a short story that is due next week.  I am also happy with my numbers this month and did not want to see end of the month -EV plays.  This happens to some poker players when they reach the end of the month.  They’re either happy or unhappy with their current result.  And with 1 week left in the month, they’ll either push too hard or play too weak because they want to make more money or try to lose as little as possible. 

I do feel bad for these people at the casinos but it’s obvious that they cause their own problems.  Professoinal Poker players strive to do what ever it takes to put money in when they know they’re the favorite.   That’s what makes them win in the long run.  And to see people sit there every single day at Hawaiian Gardens, gambling against the house being the underdog makes me sick.  There are two kinds of gamblers in this world, one that only puts money in when they know they are the favorite, and the other that constantly puts money in when they’re the obvious underdog. 

I don’t know if it’s lack of education or not, but sometimes outsiders mix me up with those underdog gamblers.  I always try to do what ever it takes to always be the favorite, and when I am the underdog, believe me, it’s for fun.  Many times, when I do small bets with friends, I will always be the underdog.  I remember going to a Muay Thai KickBoxing event, I had to buy my friend 8 beers that night because I kept picking the guy who “looks like the underdog”.  I won one fight when there was a one arm muay thai fighter that kick that shit out of his opponent. 

Overall, I think it’s important to know your place in the gambling world.  The best way to think of it is to treat it as a fun or recreational thing.  I ended up losing $400 tonight in a span of 1 hour.  Sadly my friend was pretty devastated, but I know he’s suffered more than just a $400 hit.  I can easily say that he’s lucky we didn’t lose more   I’m sure it’s because I was in the way of that

“You can gamble any amount on anything in this world and you will never be considered a compulsive gambler if you are good at managing your money” 

But I don’t want the entry to be too long now  

Lately I have been insanely depressed.  Whether it’s the lawsuit or just my sloppiness, both combined make me feel really down.  It’s strange.  About two weeks ago, I went on a dead even streak in poker and that was depressing.  I first lost one thousand dollars and THEn i went on a dead even streak.  It took me some time to recover from that loss and eventually bringing myself back to positive.  It’s nuts, my month went like this.

Week 1 = +$3,000 Great start               TOTAL 3k

Week 2 = +$2,000 awesome early start  TOTAL 5K

Week 3 = -1,000  :*(    Tough week       TOTAL 4K

Week 4 = +3,000       YES!                   TOTAL 6k

The above is just an “idea” on how my month went.  As you can see the 3rd week was quite tough.  But it’s not that week that got me depressed this month.  I think it’s a combination of my outside life and my lazy ass.  At one point my room was just a mess.  I was a complete slob and I was behind in school.  I was sleeping at 5am every night which causes me to not wake up till 2 or 3pm.  Right now it is 3am on a Wednesday Night and I’m typing in my blog lol. 

The lawsuit is a big reason as to why I’ve been feeling depressed.   Although I’ve told myself to get over it, I am reminded of it every month because it is brought back into discussion with a family member or a lawyer. I am forced to deal with it somehow.  I have to learn to let this go even when the worst can happen.  The suit is nowhere near finish, so I must endure it.  I just have this feeling that once everything blows over, I am going to make history.  I just have that strong feeling and I cannot wait for it to come. 

I just need to retain myself from my undisciplined nature.  I got so depressed one day, I stayed up watching TV all night.  I was tired, but I didn’t want to sleep.  I wanted to “torture” myself the next day so that I can teach myself a lesson and not do it again.  Instead, I ended up skipping the entire day of school.  I was sluggish and lazy.  I woke up extremely tired and wanted nothing else but more sleep.  I had to get out somehow, so I decided to rerearrange my room a bit.  I thought of an idea on how I can fit another closet drawer in my room.  I ended up going to IKEA and spent $500 dollars on a new bed frame without a drawer (because they ran out of the one I wanted).  I have plans on how I can fix up my room a little more and I am excited to do it.  Doing these types of things can make you feel sooo MUCH BETTER believe it or not. 

I tell you, there is nothing better than going to a clean nice bedroom to relax.  It is my comfort place and when I’m stressed or tired, this is where I will be.  And this is where I only want to be.  So when it’s a mess, I am a mess.  I have to do what ever it takes to maintain it’s cleansness as it reflects on my emotional state. 

I am now in the process of training my brother to be able to beat low stakes No Limit Holdem.  It is not going to be an easy task as he has many many bad habits.  I know that he goes on tilt very easily and that his ability to be disciplined is not so strong.  However, those flaws can be improved.  Before I decided to use up my time to better his game, I need to know for certain that he is serious.  I need him to be extremely serious.  I need him to have a certain degree of passion of wanting to learn to beat this game.    I dont consider myself SUCESSFUL yet, but I do consider myself being successful in developing a strategy to play this game for living.  If he’s passionate, he may see some things that I have missed during my experimental phase.

My goal is somewhat different from my brother’s. The objective for him is to play a certain amount of hands (~10k hands), and use those hands to evaluate his game.  This is the experimental phase.  Obviously, the more hands the better but 10k is an ok amount for evaluation. 

My goal right now is to be able to make MORE money than what I’m making right now.  First thing next month, I’m going to try to move up to NL400 and play it seriously.  No more 12 tabling NL200 unless my NL400 games are not going my way.  I will be playing 6 tables of NL400!  That’s an investment of $2,400 at one time.  So I’ll be seeing $2,400 on my screen as I play.  It’s nothing new as 12 tables of NL200 IS $2,400.  However, I may be playing tougher players and the pots are going to be much bigger - and this can be psycologically negative EV for me.   

A couple of months ago, I did manage to play about 7k hands of NL400.  I started off really bad and lost about $2,500.  I later managed to fight off that downswing and brought myself up to +800 in NL400. After that, I decided to get a 3rd monitor to stick to NL200 by 12 tabling.  12 tabling occurred for about 2 months, and I am about at the end of that right now.  I hope things will go well for me next month (November).  If in fact I do retain the same winrate when I play NL400, I should make this much.

6.60bb/100 = my current winrate

6.60 x 4 (big blinds in NL400) = 26.4             = 26.4 for every 100 hands. 

6 tabling = 300 hands per hour

3x 26.4 = $79.2 per hour

And since I’ve been lazy and because of school, I’ve only avg about 30 hours a week

120 (hours in one month) x $79.20 = $9,504  :O)

So that monthly figure would be my goal for every month.  Obviously, If I play more than 30 hours a week, I hope to make more than that.  Like I said, it all depends on how I do in NL400.  Wish me luck guys.

One Thing I realized being a poker play is that I spend a shit load of money.  Food, water, alcohol, complimentary, you name it.  I spend way too much money and I’m starting to realize how bad that is.  My spending habits are way more than I have ever spent in my life.  I guess, when you feel comfortable around cash, you just wanna go all out to make yourself feel relax.  Playing poker can be quite difficult and stressful; the healing process is to go all out.  At least that’s how I feel at times.  How many of you have been so stressed, that you feel you just need to pay your way out of reality.  I’ve experienced this many times.  I guess that’s why many gamblers eventually become alcoholics.  For me, I feel as if I am still young and that I am still in party mode. 

Sometimes it’s great to see your buddies have fun, their happiness is my happiness.   Especially family, I wish to do the same for my family.  As great as things are going, I feel as if I’m too old for this.  I met up a friend tonight that reminded me so much of my ultimate goal in life.  The first thing I said to him “Don’t worry, give me some time, and I will be right there with you, just give me some friggen time.”  He told me that he understands, and that we’ll make history together some day.  I later told him to give me a few years before I am prepared for the film world.  Everytime I watch a great movie, or a favorite film of mine, my heart literally feels depresssed as what I am doing now is not helping myself get to where I originally want to be - at least that’s how my heart feels.  One thing is for certain; if I can build a certain type of bankroll, I can spend all the time I want making movies.  This is something I must keep in mind.

When people have a lot of money, they literally do not care where it goes.  At clubs, they’re willing to pay the bouncer hundreds of dollars just to not have to wait in line.  People pay off security guards just so they don’t get bothered if they were to sneak into a concert.  This is the reality that I live in….Los Angeles.  Sadly, I find myself in those types of situations at time and it’s something that I must come to understand/learn.  If I want to go watch a movie premiere, I’m going to have to pay someone off.  If there’s a place in this world that I want to be, I’m going to have to pay someone. 

My reality is all about money.

As sadly as that sounds, that’s life.  I’ve seen it in movies, I’ve seen it in real life.  I have to admit to myself that this is reality.  Survival to the fetus is in our nature. It sorta saddens me because I know that deep down inside, there is definitely something more.  The sad thing is, if I want to escape from the reality, I may have to pay for it.  Irony is what you can call it.

So what do you do if you find something soo special that does not cost a thing?  You grab on to it with you all your might.  Good luck finding something like that because it comes once in a lifetime. 

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Do not read the following if you have not watched The Departed/Infernal Affairs.

The Departed:

This is the only film this year that I was looking forward to.  To be honest, my expectations were definitely met.  I highly doubt that many of the western “general” audience will know prior to watching this movie that it is a remake of a Hong Kong film. So, I’m sure that it did not do that well in terms of box office sellls.  However, it did have the greatest cast versus any movie this year.  Even then, I truly admire this story alone and not as a remake. 

The Infernal Affairs

I consider this Hong Kong film up to par with Heat.  It is perhaps one of the greatest cop thrillers ever made.  It is so good that Miramax wanted to release it in American theaters with unknown chinese actors (even though the actors are very famous everywhere else in the world).  The release went to halt as Miramax made a deal to do a “remake” of the film.  Eventually, they changed the title to “The Departed”.  At first, the cast was Jack Nicolson, Leo Dicaprio, and Brad Pitt.  Months later, Bradd Pit was replaced by Matt Damon.

Infernal Affair’s greatest aspect is having the concept of parallel characters in the plotline.  The good and the evil.  This concept was definitely born out from the works of John Woo.  I’m sure many new filmmakers -whom are fans of John Woo used his concept in their own films.  In the film Infernal Affairs, there is a relationship between the mafia and the internal affairs (as they represent the good and the evil.  There is also the relaionship between the two moles of the film ( one being the cop and one being the head henchmen of the mafia).  And last but not least, there is also a relationship between the mafia leader and the Superintendent of Internal Affairs.  This concept is what makes Infernal Affairs so much better than The Departed.

I’m going to give you one example of a great film that shows the relationship between good and evil.  That movie is face/off by John Woo.  John Woo tends to make his villain and heroes have some kind of relationship with one another. Whether is hate or love, Woo shows some kind of commonality amongst two enemies. 

I recommend you all to watch the Infernal Affairs trilogy to see what I mean.  Then after that, watch as Scorsese, “Scorseses up the Infernal Affairs” to make it become The Departed.  This remake is the only exciting thing that happened this year in the film world.  Sadly.