For A Better Tomorrow

There’s much in this post that I’d like to talk about.  The subject that really concerns me is maturity.  I often ponder whether I am ready for the next step or not.  For the first time in my life, I realized that I am too immature for a few things.  I recently passed up something really great because I know that I am not ready for it.   I have always been taught that it is important to take certain chances in life and this is a choice that I made in which I am very insecure about.  I feel as if I know that it’s right but after the decision has been made, I am suffering the toughest side effect about it - and that is regret. 

I remember watching the movie Family Man and finding it such an inspirational movie.  Many of the “cool” characters in life are ones like in family man played by Nicolas Cage.  In that movie, he makes a decision that is in a way quite similar to mine.  But then again, I live in reality and that is just a movie.  There are things that can happen in reality that can be really awful.  I just hope things go for the best.  I spent hours and hours thinking about my decision, and in conclusion, I believe it is the best - whether or not I end up regretting it.  One of the reasons why is because…of my current lifestyle.  

I am a poker player, and the lifestyle that I have chosen is quite difficult for anyone to accept.  I can tell a person what I do for living and immediately I am judged sterotypically as an addict and you know what? I don’t blame them.  I guess the only way to really prove your success in poker is to be on the WPT or WSOP Shows.  Many people do not understand how many unknown professional poker players exist out there .  I am just going to take a stab at a trying to be successful.  And maybe one day, I can come back and revisit all the things I care for.  And when I am successful and ready; I will pursue other passionate things that in my previous life. 

I remember going out to a bar one night and ran into a few people I met in the past.  The first thing I hear was “Hey, heard you’re really good a poker”.  So it sounds like they want to hear something about my playing poker.  I ended up cracking my #1 rule and ended up explaining to them what I’m doing and how I’m doing it.  I did mention in previous posts about how difficult it is for people to truly understand what I’m going through - so I told myself to avoid talking about it.  My close friends are a little shaken even though they’ve been hearing about it since I won my first tournament (February 2005).  But as the cash stakes get higher, things become a crazier. 

So here I am, chatting away to old friends about me going through swings of losing THOUSANDS - which is utterly stupid, but I seriously thought that they were interested and had more of an open mind.  But it was too late, I knew it from the moment they looked at me after I stopped talking (it’s like seeing someone stare at you because you’re asian or whatever your ethnicity is).  They think I’m a gambling addict now.  They look at me as if I’ve gone mad CRAZY.

I was talking to an old friend that night and I was explaining to him how hard it was for me to talk to people about poker.  And then he goes “don’t worry try me, I think I can manage it”.  So, the moment I tell him some information, he goes “But all you’re doing is gambling, it’s inconsistent, how can you make a living that way.”  *SIGH.  And I tell you this, this guy is quite a smart person too, yet he has no idea how it works even though I’ve explained it to him clearly.  It just literally goes through one ear and out the other.  I’m not here to defend myself in anyway as I really don’t see any point to it because I am doing well, but sometimes people come off looking like they’re really interested.  Shit like that catches me off guard. 

I think for the people around me to understand, there are some new goals that I want to set for myself in the future.  Seeing as how cash games is going pretty well for me and when my problems blow over (lawsuits) which is hopefully next year, I’m going to attack the tournament circuit in casinos.  I remember when my brother started showing me how to play tournaments, I immediately became an avid visitor of many casinos in Los Angeles.  I’ve watched many unknown agressive players in those tournament (some of them are now known today - here’s a hint, they’re Vietnamese) and they are incredible with their tournament tactics.  After that, I became a tournament specialist for one year.  Honestly, I think that getting cardplayer of the year is in my grasp if I were to work hard enough for it.  It’ll probably be one of the most grueling attempts ever in my life.  But if I have the money, I feel as if I can do it.  And please, you do not need a WPT win to take a cardplayer of the year award, you just need to be consistent in cashes in tournaments.  I think I know of a strategy for it to be done.  But then again this goal is far from now.  I tell you this, when I make my attempt, you can consider me a poker successor already because you need A LOT OF MONEY and a shit load of patience/discipline to make this happen.  You have to already be successful in Poker in order to get the player of the year award.  It is THAT difficult.    

Just received my monitors and this is what the setup looks like.  The head movement is pretty erratic but I have already gotten used to it.  Today I played my first 5 hour session with 12 tables.  There are so many flaws playing twelve tables but some of the flaws I can control if I manage to maintain focus and not go on tilt.  Usually when I play 8 tables, I am able to do other things, but when 12 tables are up, I am CONSTANTLY BUSY.  I was playing like this for 5 hours and I was soo absorbed in the game, it drained the life out of me. 

NL200 blinds $1/$2 

At one point, I just did not believe people.  I kept thinking they were trying to make a play at me because I’m 12 tabling. For example this hand that happened around the 4th hour of my 12 tabling experiment. 

With UTG limper, I raise with AA in MP to $10 the guy directly to my left calls as does the small blind and the original UTG limper. 

4 players to a flop of Q83 rainbow:  SB checks, UTG checks and I bet $30 the guy to my direct left calls the $30 and everyone folded.

Heads up Turn 10s:  The Pot is now 102 dollars.  I have my opponents stack covered and he has $200 in his stack.  I have about $640.  I bet 60 and he minraises to 120 so it’s 60 for me to call.  But if I called I am definitely commmited to the rest of his stack which is about 80 dollars. 

For some damn reason, I did not believe his ass.  I was pretty stupid as I moved all in and let him succeeded in stacking me with his set.  I am usually very good at being suspicious, but I just didnt believe him this time for some damn reason.  I convinced myself that he was playing AQ very weak.  I mean shit, this hand is soo damn obvious.  Here’s two scenerious where I could’ve avoided gettin stacked.

Q83 action on the FLOP 

Q83 10 rainbow action on the TURN POT$ 102

OK, so I’d continue my bet on the flop and he’d smooth call.  Now on the turn, if I were to check it.  I can now see what kind of bet he makes into a $102 pot.  *KEY* My check shows weakness which would make his set very strong.  He’d be very careful to try not to scare me away with a big bet as my check showed that I have an pair lower than Q or AK missing. 

I can evaluate his hand by his bet on the turn (keep in mind that my check play disguises my AA here making it look like I’m weaker) *this is a very very important factor here to save me money and in my opinion it’s pretty advance thinking* 

If he bets a decent size pot like $80 to $100, I’m certain he’s trying to get me to fold, so I’m going to call leaving him with 120 dollars for me to evaluate on the river.

Now if the river blanks off I can check it and see if he’d move all in.  Likely he’ll move all in with a complete bluff (he is definitely not bluffing based on his betting pattternsand  the rainbow flop) Or he’ll check behind me and we go for show down saving me $120 - this showdown will only happen if he had AQ or JJ and under.  A third move from him on the river is that he can make some type of bet to induce my call like a value bet, and I can call a small value bet or fold (which is what I’ll likely do), both of which will save me from gettin stacked - and definitely much better than my original move all in play on the turn.

The only problem with playing the above alternate scenerio is that you risk losing value if he had a hand like KK or AQo.  I honestly see no problem with that as his play on the flop is already a scary scenerio.  They say in poker to look for better opportunities, and this is definitely not a good situation for AA when someone flat calls on a rainbow flop - especially if the pot is now huge.  Honestly, he’d have to be a pretty weak player to slow play KK or AQ on the flop like that.  I can always find another pair of AA in a better situation and play the way I played on the turn.

Anyways, enough with that. 

I also think the reason why I went on tilt is because before my monitors came, I was playing NL400.  Sadly, the moment I sat into NL400, I went on the worst run of cards.  Very shitty timing when you move up in limits.  I recovered from it eventually but damn it stung badly.  I played about 6k hands of NL400 and I came up with only $782 which is horrible.  At least, I broke even and came back as I was down about $2,000 the first week of NL400.  Well, I can’t see the long run in NL400 anymore because for the time being, I am going to 12 table NL200, I’ll come back to NL400 with a vengeance, but I must say that game is quite similar to NL200, with the proper bankroll, I’m sure I can beat that game.  Now when I play 12 tables of NL200, I just have to be discipline and not play when I am tired.  I only slept like 4 hours the night before.  I went to school till 3:30pm and immediately hit the tables at around 4:30.  I was falling asleep at around 7pm but I did jumping jacks and pump my fists to stay awake.  I CANNOT MISS ANYMORE HOURS.

I have two more weeks left in this month and I want to maximize in profits as much as possible.  That means, no more tilt and donk plays like the one I made above.  12 tabling has its pros and cons, the cons being that my winrate may decrease but the pros being that I can now get 650 hands per hour!

So lets do the math with 600 hands per hour (50 hands per table per hour x 12).

Now if I make ~5 BB/100 hands in NL 200 that’s about $10/  100 hands.  So every 100 hands I play I should make $10

$10×6(hands per hour) = $60 per hour.  I have two weeks left, and if I grind it out 40 hours these next two weeks, that’s about

80×60 =  another $4,800 on top of my current $1,700 right now.  So a total of $6,500.  

That’s a very good way to get an idea on how much I can make by the end of the month.  We’ll see though, I have a 5 page essay and a 10 page short story for school that is due at the end of the month, so depending on how well the cards run and how I can manage my time in school work, we’ll see how much I can pull off.  Also, this estimate is NOT INCLUDING RAKEBACK

*Tournament News*

I’ve always known about some tricks in tournaments, I just never had the balls to try them.  Now, I know how to use it! 

This is a long entry, I know.  But it’s been awhile and I have much to say.  I found something recently in tournaments.  I am disappointed that I have never employed these tactics earlier this year.  I recently tried to put them into play and it’s been working quite well for me.  However, it is tough because these tactics should really only be used in the higher buyin tournaments. 

I was depressed earlier this week when I placed 23rd out of a field of +1000.  The buyin was 500+35.  Surely I made off with $1,500, I am still shocked by the top 3 prizes in this tournament.  115k for first, I forgot what 2nd was but 3rd was 55k.  I came close which stung me harder than any other tournament this year.  However, I came off now knowing many things that I did not know before.  And I can assure myself that I will be a bigger threat in the next coming year in the bigger buyin tournaments.  I know that I am a threat now, but I am certain with the new tactics that I have learned to use in these tournaments, I will be much stronger than I was previously.  My brother often ponders why we can’t crack the bigger games and that’s definitely something I’ve been thinking a lot lately as well.  I feel as if I found some of the answers now.  I feel as if I’ve been given new weaopons, now all I have to do is just use them the next time and everytime I go to war on the virtual felt. 

Ok so some good news and bad news.  The good news is that I realized that I need to move up somehow.  Whether it be playing NL400 or playing MORE TABLES OF NL200.  Due to my current situation, even though I would be considered “overrolled for NL400″, I should still not play it because of my outside life drama.  However, I find it sorta bad for me to not “try” to improve my hourly rate especially since my play time will be cut just a little bit per week as I have other responsibilities like school.  So, I realized I would like to have a new setup which should not cost me much. 

The Goal:  To change the setup you need the objective or goal of the setup.  For example:

Why do I need it and what will it be used for?  

Well, I want the ability to play up to 12 tables at once.  So what do I need?  

Currently my set up is this: 

Ignore the laptop.  The two monitors behind is what we’re looking at.  They are two 24 inch dell monitors with resolutions of 1920×1200.  I can fit 4 windows of poker tables on each monitor without overlapping, I also get some room on the side for my AIM ^^. 

I go to my hacker friends Crypt and DarDar and devise a detail sketch of what I want.  I spent quality time drawing this thing up and I am definitely proud as to how it turned out.  I mean I’m not artist and all but there’s got to be some talent in this piece of work. 

Now with this blue print, they can now understand my vision.  And therefore, they can advise me one what I should do.  The process is simple…yet complicated yet simple.  I basically have to sell one of my 24 ” dell monitors and buy two 20.1 ” non widescreen dell monitors.  Simple.

The complicated part is the video card situation.  *sigh.  I’ll be running a tri monitor setup.  My head will be moving rapidly as I go from Monitor 1 to Monitor 3 when playing poker.

The 24″ monitor will run 4 tables with some room to have other things like “aim” opened.  While, the support monitors (20.1″ dell non widescreen), will run exactly 4 poker tables each.  The 4 poker tables will FIT EXACTLY PERFECT on those screens.  Therefore, I will not have room for anything else.  Any video games and movies will obviously be played on the 24″ dell monitor. 

I am actually excited for this setup but I wanted to be patient and wait for a deal.  I’ve waited for 2 weeks now and nothings come up.  I then realized that I could be losing money by not gettin those monitors sooner at their regular prices.  Why? you ask?  Well, within those two weeks, I could’ve played 12 tables easily and have made well more than the 100 dollars that I would’ve saved if I were to find a deal.  The problem really now is the video card situation, I have to find a pci video card that is compatible with my motherboard (3 years old) and the pci video card also needs to be good enough to run quality picture.  We’ll see…

The Bad News

I honestly did not like the last post I wrote.  While, it is important for the people who want to understand the game of poker to know how much I make in a given month, I should really not reveal my income monthly on an internet page.  Before, it was fine as people who find this website are strangers.  However, more people I know personally have been coming into this page to read about my poker chase.  It’s my fault, as I did in fact tell them my website address.  But it’s no big deal. 

The point is, I am about at a level where non poker players would not understand my situation.  I can talk all about my losses and winnings with other poker players, however to a normal individual, they would think I am crazy.  To be honest, non poker players cannot comprehend, handle, nor swallow the information I give them.  Especially when that information I give them is from my personal experience.  For example:  If I tell an normal “non poker player” that I lost 2,000 dollars tonight, they would think I’m crazy and that I need to go here.  And 2k is of the norm lately.  When I do move up to NL400, 3-4k is at the norm as well.  I hope that one day $10,000 would be at the norm for me and by the that time, I will definitely not talk about poker with anyone unless they are truly interested.  I can’t imagine a person making 6 digits a year working 40-50 hours a week could grasp at the fact that I lost $10,000 in a span of 100 poker playing hands. 

That’s the honest truth.  However, like I said before, I know many are curious as to how well poker goes along for me as it is a very difficult thing to do.  Obviously, I won’t keep my mouth shut for good.  I just feel that it’s best to keep certain things under wrap.  So from now on, I’ll rarely post information and details about my income on poker.  But if I EVER LOSE AND GO BROKE, I will post on why and how it happened.  I just hope I will never have to post that, and lets just say that if you don’t see that post, that means I am running the same way or better than I was last month in August

1st Pic: Scale for Month of August

2nd Pic: Rakeback, damn…because of my playing, the site made over 5 thousands dollars.  And that’s just one individual!  Geezus…

3rd Pic:  My overall from January 01,2006

This month is quite important to me as it is the first real month in which I was able to play poker full time.  The previous monthly earns has been from playing poker part time.  My goal originally was to produce double those months since my time will be spent more on poker.  To be honest, I would’t mind making 3,000 a month playing poker full time.  That’s definitely better than any dayjob I can get.  However, if I’m earning that playing part time, I honestly believe that I can do more if I were to full time, I mean that is the reason why I left my day job right?    

June 06 - Net $2,752.01 This month I was able to crank out 86 hours of play the entire month  

July 06 - Net $3,177 (first two weeks I had a day job, I netted this by playing poker part time the first two weeks and full time the last two weeks - although this month I ran horribly for a week in which I lost the most I ever lost in a week *see previous post*)

Surely these numbers are great as I was only playing poker 20 hours a week, perhaps even less.  I would work my 8-5 job and then I’d come home to take a break for 30 minutes and prepare myself to play for the next 3-5 hours.  It was tough, I was literally working 80 hours a week literally if you include both my day job and poker.  I’d say that I spent about 100 hours a week total if you include traffic and lunch..etc.  It’s basically the overall time spent being a working man.  Some people literally are away from home for 14 hours a day because their workplace is far away and they have to commute through massive traffic - there for they have to get up earlier.  So when you get hired by a company and they require full time commitment, they mean exactly that…

People tend to go to work and then come home to knock out because they are so tired.  Some would just relax and have a beer to try to enjoy their moment after work.  There is definitely nothing wrong with this, however, what if you weren’t satisfied with your job.  If you do this everyday, you’d be stuck there forever.  What if you weren’t happy with the pay?  Sometimes to get out of where you are, you have to “work” after work.  Some study other areas in the company in order to move up.  Some may be studying film books on the side and/or write scripts when they come home from work.  That was were I saw my life until poker got to me.  In my case, I was working the tables on the internet.  I spent my time studying the game to be a consistent winner.  Although, I do know of a few who make way more than me playing the same game.  I truly admire that because I am considered just a consistent marginal winner.  My next goal is to earn more per hour or more for every 100 hands that I play.  This will require studying my weaknesses and closely examine my previous data.  It’s going to take a lot of work, but it’ll be worth it if I can earn more than the following.

August 2006 *Full Time Poker Player

# of Hands Played:  49,410

Hours Played:  132.77 (This is where I pissed myself off, I slacked off a bit on my third week and I was not able to pull in 160 hours *sigh*)

Poker Monthly Winnings: +$6360.90

Rakeback Earn: ~1,500

Bonuses:  $300  - Full Tilt had a reload bonus

Total: $8,160.00

This is just incredibly awesome.  I earn close as much as I would during my dayjob with just rakeback and bonuses!  I guess I can consider poker winnings as a commission type thing.  I would be just satisfied with 3k in poker and 1.5k in rakeback.  That would make quitting work worth while.  The last thing I’d want to do is get ahead of myself.  Obviously I only played 133 hours and I was probably running hot, you never know.  I hope that on months that I don’t run hot, I can make about 2-3k in poker winnings and about 1.5k in rakeback.  Basically with my satifactory earn on months I run bad.     We’ll see what the future brings me.  Surely this is an amount that I have never seen in one month before besides tournament winnings, I feel like I really earned this as I was playing by the hour.  It’s just too bad that more that 75 percent of my winnings is going away.

$3,600 for mom’s house mortgage

$2,000 for my personal bills/spendings

Gone   The rest is going back into the poker market.  Anyways, I am off for this weekend, I’m going to try not to do anything poker related.  I’m going to Las Vegas this weekend!  So much for not doing anything poker related…What I really mean is, I’m not going to play poker at all.  I need a break!  Also, my status is no longer a Full Time Poker Player.  I started school last Monday.  I hope to study well as literature and creative writing is now my temporary artform.  It’s something I need to possess and understand if I ever want to do filmmaking.  So, I’ll be playing poker full time and school part time, which basically means I won’t have a life.  My goal is to only go out one night a week.