For A Better Tomorrow

I had no choice, my computer crashed! As much as I wanted to keep the fire lit this month, there was nothing I can do. It was out of my will power. My computer crashed and I could not play poker for the entire week. The problems of fixing a computer was a headache and it was the only productive thing I did this week. It Required a lot of help from my computer buddies but I hope that is over with now. I was lucky enough to be able to save all my poker data. My hard drives were initially RAIDED 0 due to my past work in video editing. It helps the computer to be faster than normal, but if one hard drive fails, both will fail. Fortunately, I was able to preserve my files. It would’ve been a nightmare if I couldnt get my poker data.

Anyway, the beginning of this month was nuts though. The swings are insanely larger than what I was used to in NL100. It seems like there’s a big gap between NL100 and NL200 in terms of swings. Obviously, since it’s a 100% move from one level to another. In one day, I’d come up 2k and another night i’d lose 850. It’s pretty nuts. I like it though and I am used to it now. I just hope I don’t go on a downslope of like 20 buyins or something, as that would drive me insane. 20 buyins would be 4k. Actually now that I think about it, if I go on a downswing of 10-15 buyins, I’d probably start pounding my head on the wall. 10 buy ins would be 2k - Yikes! But, gotta have balls if you wannt become a poker player. But from my past experience, I’ve gone on a 10 buyin downswing only once, and that was very early in my cash game experiment. Obviously, I made many newbie plays at the time.

I didn’t do much this week except twiddle my fingers on my lip while my friend tried troubleshooting my computer. However, many different thoughts crossed my mind as I went out to play cards with friends at coffee shops. While playing this game, I realized that there were many diffferent strategies within the game, however I was LAZY to “think” about them. I guess that is what will make me lose at the game if someone were to be a step higher. I feel like that as a poker player when I know players at my table lack certain aspects of the game, It’s easy to identify when you focus on your oppponents well enough. SOmetimes, people just want to win or get better by just “playing constantly”. Surely experience is one key factor to winning in poker, but if you play the same way every single day, you will not improve. That’s why I think passsion is the key to poker. It naturally forces people think more about the game and apply new ideas and thoughts into play. It forces people to try new things, or seek for answers. It forces people to ask questions….to find questions! Have you ever been in a classroom and after lecture your professor asks everyone if they have any questions? IMO, it seems that the people who do well in school are the ones that try very hard find a question to ask. This leaves me to one of my favorite poker quotes that I came across while reading Daniel Negreanu’s articles:

“If you never try to play “above the rimâ€? and just make automatic decisions based solely on the numbers, you simply will never become an elite poker player. ” - Daniel Negreanu

I’ve been meaning to post this quote for a really long time. I just kept forgetting. If you want to be good at something in life, you have to shoot for the stars. It’s like the saying in school “if you just want a B in a class, you shoot for an A.” If I wanted to be good at this card game so that I can kick my friends’ asses whenever I visit them at coffee shops, I have to put more thought into it. I have to play at a level beyond their imagination. A level in which they just can’t comprehend. The sad thing is I don’t want to do that as this is a game in which our skill levels are nearly the same. Practicing to be better is kind of boring amongst friends, unless I wan’t to beat other players. Finding an edge in the game will eventually make people not want to play against me anymore. It’s very true, would you play basketball for cash if you know you don’t stand a chance? I find it amazing when people only offer to play for cash in games in which they know they have an advantage but they back down when they know they don’t stand a chance. It just tells you the different types of personalities in people. Anyway, enough blabbering, I’m eager to get back into playing some poker. I just hope this little break won’t be detrimental to my game. I am hoping though that my recent move to NL200 will be better for me. I always tell myself to think about the future of the game. If I can dominate NL100, can I dominate NL200 the same way? Or can I later dominate NL2000 the same way. I know for a fact that there is much for me to learn and I will always seek for questions and then hope to find the answers. Even at the highest levels in anything, I believe what separates great ones from just “winning players” are the ones who will still consider themself a student to the game even if they are recognized by others as being untouchable. It is a gift to have the eager to want to be a god in the game. It is a level if onced reached, that a mere master of the game cannot even comprehend. A level beyond a master’s imagination - perhaps a level that hasn’t ever been reach… Always look for the next level.

I’ve seen a billion movies in which part of the storyline teaches a character that his greatest enemy is himself. You will see this theme in many chinese martial arts films. Sadly Raiden even made clear of this to Liu Kang in Mortal Kombat the movie. As a kid, I never really understood what it meant…”Your greatest enemy is yourself”, “Your toughest opponent will be yourself”, or “To beat the best, you first must learn to beat yourself”. I guess I never understood it because some of these movies literally show the main character fighting himself literally. In Mortal Kombat, I honestly thought there will be a mirror match between Liu Kang and himself because of the arcade game.

It seems like in everything in life, to be truly successful; one must learn to overcome their own problems and fears. When I recently watched Batman Begins, (perhaps one of the best action movies this decade IMO) I was amazed by how the story used this concept to develop the Batman character. He overcomes his fears and lets go of his anger/hatred. Although it is redundent in other films, they did a great job of executing it in a way where it’s different. Only a genius director and storyteller can pull something off like that. Imagine recreating a John Woo flick but making it so different that the audience understands that it’s based off of a John Woo flick, but still enjoys it and is convinced that it is original. I haven’t really thought about it much but a good example of this would probably be Boondock Saints. But perhaps one of the best examples of this concept is the story behind Metal Gear Solid. Although the creator of that game is outspoken to people about being a fan of the James Bond series, his creation of the character Solid Snake definitely stands on higher ground than James Bond. Perhaps in a completely different category.

As I’ve grown older and wiser, I started to think more about my career and life. That is when I realized the meaning of this saying “your greatest enemy is yourself”. To accomplish anything in life, you must be clean. And what I mean by clean is being responsible, discipline, and humble. I’m definitely sure that there is more to that than those three that I have just listed, but I”m sure you get the idea as this entry is quite logical. It’s logical indeed, and manny understand it, but they are too weak to execute it. Simple stuff like sleeping early, saying no to alcohol, not going out too much with your friends and partying staring at girls.. all night blah blah blah…. Subtracting those minor bad habits can help you suceed in other ways. Sure, it’s important to enjoy life and have fun, but it’s important to be disciplined about it and know when enough is enough.

If I go out on a friday night drinking with buddies, I end up staying up till 3am. And when I get home I pass out without thinking about what I need to do the next day. I end up sleeping til 3pm and wasted the entire day. Time in which I could’ve played more poker. That’s also the reason why I haven’t gone to church lately. It’s because of my undisciplined nature. I admit, I CANNOT WAKE UP FOR IT. I even fix my sleep schedule due to m-f 8-5 work and by friday night when my buddies call me out, I end up screwing my entire weekend.

The tougest opponent that’ll I’ll ever encounter on the other side of the green felt will not be Phil Ivey, Daniel Negreanu, Barry Greenstein, nor Doyle Brunson. Even if Stu Ungar revived from his grave to play me heads up, he should not be a threat because to succeed in poker, you must first learn to succeed discipline. And to be disciplined successfully, I have to fight my toughest opponent ever - myself. Before success, I have to battle against myself and my careless personality. And even after I become successful, a new and improve opponent (myself) will be sitting across my table again hoping for revenge. The glamorous side of success is perhaps one of the greatest tests to determine true humbleness.

I am also in the biggest hole ever in my life. Something unfortunate has fallen into my life within the past couple of years. It hasn’t really taken toll of my life until now and I know it will be more stressful as time passes. I hope to overcome this moment in my life. I really feel that I can succeed in the poker world, but my personal life outside is slowing me down. I literally have to create a switch to turn my reality life on and off. On - when I am back to reality, and off when I am on the green felt. As money to me in reality is very hard to come by, it’s value to me is based on my office hours. But when I sit down at a table, online or not, I have to turn that switch off and become someone else - someone relentless with the greens and chips. It is the only way for me to balance my double life.

This too shall past.

Ra: If you make yourself more than just a man, if you devote yourself to an ideal, and if they can’t stop you, you become something else entirely…

Ra’s: A legend Mr. Wayne.